Twister & the Lord of the Rings
by Yami-no-Hikari-7
Summary: Oneshot. YAOI I may replace the title later. Since Bakura's out on a date for the night, Malik decides to keep Ryou company. Will they ever get to finish a movie? Angstshipping, with hints of Darkshipping and Peachshipping. I know, I'm weird. R&R kudasai


Me: Happy Valentines Day, my wonderful readers and/or reviewers! (hopefully it's "and" instead of "or") I know I should be working on _Yuugiou, Touzokuou_, but I really wanted to make an Angstshipping story, and Valentines Day seemed like the best time to do it! Yay!

Crystal: Hoorah for Angstshipping!

Disclaimer: What am I, Kuzuki Takahashi? Of course I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, I'd be rich. That, and I wouldn't keep losing at Duel Monsters. Then again, I've only dueled twice in my life, so I have an excuse.

Me: Enjoy the story!

* * *

"So where are you taking your date?" Ryou asked Bakura, who was currently adding eyeliner to his already naturally thick lashes. 

Bakura shrugged. "Dunno. Probably to a restaurant or something. Or maybe a night club."

Ryou smiled at the thought of Bakura dancing.

_Ding Dong_

Bakura's head jerked up. "What was that?"

"The door bell," Ryou replied, going downstairs to answer it.

"Yes, but who-"

Too late. Ryou was already downstairs. Bakura growled a bit, before turning back to the mirror.

Meanwhile, Ryou opened the door to let his guest in.

"Malik, you're early. I didn't think you'd be here for another-" Ryou was quickly cut off by Malik lips pressing against his. As much as he wanted to lean into the kiss, Ryou remembered the yami upstairs. Reluctantly, he pulled away.

"Not now, Malik. Bakura hasn't left yet. Just go sit on the couch."

Malik scowled. "Happy Valentines Day to you too." Sulkily, Malik went over to the winter-white couch. Sprawling on it, Malik propped the back of his head on his hands, looking as though he couldn't be comfier.

"Speaking of Bakura," he said casually. "Who's this 'hot date' of his?"

Ryou smiled. "Sorry, Malik. I can't tell you."

Sitting up, Malik clapped his hands together, as though praying. Or rather begging, as the case may be. "Oh come on, Ryou! I can keep a secret! You know that! Please?"

Smiling softly, Ryou shook his head. "I'm sorry, Malik, but it's not my secret to tell. Actually I couldn't if I wanted to. I don't really know myself."

Malik stared at him in disbelief. "You don't know? How can you not know? You're his hikari!"

"And it's none of my hikari's business." Bakura said as he came into the living room. He crossed his arms in front of him.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Malik smirked. "Oh, hey Bakura. Happy Valentines Day. So, who's your date? And what's with the outfit? You've got so much leather on, you could give the Pharaoh a run for his money."

Bakura flushed a bit, but his glare didn't waver. "That's really none of your business either. And don't change the subject. I'll ask one more time: What are you doing here?"

Malik's smirk remained firmly in place. "Well, since you're going out with this mysterious boyfriend of yours, and will probably be out all night, I decided to come over and keep Ryou company while you're gone. After all, you'll most likely be gone for a few hours at least, and you don't want Ryou to be all alone, do you? What if a burglar came? Who'd protect him?"

Bakura scowled, and was about to continue arguing, but Malik was saved by the bell. Literally.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee-

Bakura turned off the alarm on his watch, before glaring down at Malik. "Lucky for you, I've got to go pick up my date."

Striding over to the door, Bakura looked over his shoulder. "No funny business," he warned. As Ryou and Malik simply stared back with oh-so-innocent eyes, Bakura sighed resignedly and shut the door behind him.

Malik and Ryou were silent as they listened to Bakura's car pull out of the driveway, and down the street. Once his car was out of sight, Ryou turned to Malik.

"So," he said. "We're all alone."

"Yep."

"We've got the house to ourselves."

"Hai."

"Bakura won't be back for at least four hours."

"Uh huh."

"...So, what do you want to do?"

Malik thought for a moment, before smirking slyly up at Ryou.

"I've got an idea."

* * *

"Ryou, hold still." 

"I'm trying!"

"Well, try harder!"

"Easy for you to say! You've probably done this a hundred times!"

"Shut up, and put your hand over there."

"Here?"

"Perfect. Now put your foot here."

"Erm, I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not that flexible."

"Sure you can! Here, I'll help you. There we go!"

"Ouch! That hurt!"

"Sorry, Ryou. Now, put that there!"

"Erm, are you sure that goes there?"

"Of course! I've done this a million times! I even did it with Yuugi once."

"Seriously? I never thought Yuugi was the type."

"Hey, as long it's a game, any kind of game, he can do it."

"Good point."

"Yep. Now put your left hand over there."

"Here?"

"Hai. Now your right foot goes here."

"Er, Malik. I don't think I can do this."

"Oh, come on Ryou! Please?"

"Fine, but if Bakura's date gets interrupted because I'm in the hospital, I'm blaming you."

"Yeah, what ever. Now place that right here."

"I-I'm trying, but I think I'm going to fall."

"Oh, come on Ryou! You can do it!"

"I'm trying! But I- ack!" With a soft "oof!" Ryou fell on the ground. Picking himself up, he glared at Malik, who was still sprawled on his couch.

"That's it. I'm never playing _Twister_ with you again. Ever."

Malik shrugged and tossed the spinner into the _Twister_ box. "So what do you want to do now?"

Ryou thought for a moment, before grinning.

"I know what we can do!"

* * *

_"You, lighten up. You, big trouble. You, get in the car."_

"Ryou, why are we watching this junk? It's not even historically accurate."

"Oh fine, if it makes you happy we'll watch something else." Ryou replied as he took _The Mummy Returns_ out of the DVD player.

* * *

_"Harry Potter can kiss my-"_

Ryou paused it right as the car was about to go off the cliff. "Malik, I don't want to watch this anymore."

"Why not? _The Covenant_ is awesome!" (A/N Seriously. It is!)

"But it's insulting Harry Potter! And it's scary!"

"It's not as scary as _Underworld_. Which isn't really all that scary." (A/N Another gr8 movie.)

"But it's made by the same people!"

Malik sighed. "Fine, we'll watch something else."

* * *

_"No man can destroy me!"_

_The warrior pulled off their helmet to reveal long blonde hair, and a feminine face._

_"I am no man," she replied before stabbing the Lord of the Nazguls where his face would have been._

Click.

"Now why'd you pause it? It was getting to the good part!"

"Ryou, I know you like pretty much anything to do with rings, especially magic ones, but I've never seen the first two _Lord of the Rings_ movies, and don't really want to ruin the ending."

"Oh, fine. But then what are we going to watch now?"

* * *

_"Not bad, considering I only had an apple, six raisins, and some rice."_

_"Rice?"_

_"That's not rice, that's maggots you're eating," sand the slugs._

_Three maggots popped out of Roddy's spoon. "Larva, larva, larva," they sang, before Roddy flicked them away. "Wheee!"_

Ryou and Malik looked down at the bowls of rice they were having for a snack, then at each other.

"You know what? I think I've lost my appetite."

"Me too, and along with the desire to watch this movie."

They both got up and ran to the kitchen to dump their food.

* * *

_"We'll never catch up with those horses. And even if we did, they'd capture us, stick us in cages, and torture us!"_

_"Are you suggesting we go home?"_

_"Nah, this is more fun!"_

Malik sighed. "Look, Ryou, as much as I like _Willow_, I've seen it a thousand times. Can we watch something else?"

"Oh, all right."

* * *

_"-We've got to protect our immortal souls."_

_"You know you can't read."_

_"It's the Bible. You get credit for trying."_

"Finally. Something we both love to watch!"

"About time too."

"Oh, lighten up Malik. We didn't go through that many movies."

"Yes we did. You didn't want to watch any of my favorite movies because they were too 'gruesome' and I refused to watch any of those romantic films you're so addicted to."

"You didn't mind Titanic."

"That was because I got to watch people falling five hundred feet into freezing cold water."

"Oh."

_"So tell me, what's become of my ship?"_

Ryou and Malik watched the credits scroll up the screen, before Ryou turned to Malik.

"So, now what?"

* * *

"I attack your life points directly! You lose, Malik!" 

"Aw man!"

As Malik sulked, Ryou picked up his deck and, finding nothing better to do, shuffled it.

They sat in silence, before Malik said, "So...who do you think Bakura's mystery date is?"

Still shuffling his cards, Ryou shrugged.

"I dunno," he thought for a moment. "Well, we're together, and Bakura's technically me, so do you think it could be Marik?"

Malik shuddered. "Ra, I hope not. That would mean he got out of the Shadow Realm. Besides, Bakura's you in your past life. Just because you were with someone in one life, doesn't necessarily mean you'll be with him or her in another life. Yuugi and the Pharaoh are a perfect example."

Ryou looked up from his cards curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Yuugi's straight."

"And the Pharaoh isn't?"

"Wasn't it obvious?"

"..."

_Ring Ring_

Ryou let out a breath of relief. Saved by the bell! Or, telephone ring, as the case may be.

Getting up from where he and Malik were dueling, Ryou picked up the phone.

"Moshi moshi."

_"Hi, Ryou."_

"Oh, hello Yuugi! Happy Valentines Day! Though, I suppose it's not anymore, since it's two o'clock in the morning, it's technically the fifteenth."

_"Yeah. Actually, I'm pretty surprised you're up."_

"Well, Bakura went on a date, and hasn't come back yet, so Malik's been keeping me company."

_"You too?"_

"Nani?"

_"Your yami went out too? So did my yami! And he hasn't come back yet either!"_

"Really?"

_"Yeah, but that's not why I called. I wanted to ask if I could borrow your copy of Lord of the Rings; Return of the King?"_

Ryou sweatdropped. "Er, sure Yuugi. But why?"

_"Well, Anzu and I just finished the first two, and now she's begging to watch the third one. She's just dieing to see what happens. I think I've gotten her hooked."_

Ryou smiled. "She's not the only one."

_"So, do you think you could come over to the Game Shop and drop it off?"_

Ryou hesitated. "I don't know, Yuugi. It's two o'clock in the morning."

_"Bring Malik if you want, but we're dieing over here!"_

Sighing, Ryou explained their predicament to Malik. Once he was done, Malik said, "Well then, let's go."

"What?" Ryou said. "Are you crazy? It's two o'clock in the morning!"

"That's the third time you've said that. And relax. I told Bakura I'd protect you, and I meant it. Besides, it's only a few blocks away."

Ryou sighed. "Oh, very well," he raised the phone back to his ear. "We'll be right over."

_"Great! See you in a bit!"_ With that, Yuugi hung up.

For the whole trip over, they didn't run into anyone unexpected, but that didn't stop Ryou from squeezing the life out of Malik's hand.

Finally, they came to the Game Shop.

"Well, we made it," Ryou said, relieved. "Let's go in."

"Not quite yet," Malik smirked. Taking Ryou's hand, he led him behind the building. He then proceeded to pin Ryou to the wall, and attacked the white-haired boy's mouth with his own.

The DVD box slipped from Ryou's hands, unnoticed and forgotten.

When Ryou felt Malik's tongue run against his lips, he opened his mouth slightly to allow him entrance, giving a small moan of pleasure as he felt Malik's tongue exploring his mouth. That is, until...

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Malik and Ryou quickly broke apart and guiltily faced the person who had caught them in the act.

"Oh, um, hi Bakura." Ryou said nervously. "What are you doing here?"

Bakura glared. "That's irrelevant. What were you doing with Malik's tongue down your throat?"

"Oh, well, you see-"

"Bakura," came a new voice. "What's going on?"

Ryou and Malik's jaws dropped.

Being the first to snap out of it, Malik said, "_You're_ Bakura's date?"

Yami angrily placed his hands on his hips, glaring. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Uh, no. It was just..."

"Unexpected," Ryou finished for his boyfriend.

They all stood in silence for a moment, not quite knowing what to say.

The backdoor of the Game Shop suddenly opened, causing them all to jump in surprise.

"Oh, hey Ryou!" Yuugi said cheerfully, holding hands with Anzu. "You made it! Have you got the movie?" He blinked, noticing the yamis, and grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, hi Yami. Heh heh," he laughed nervously.

Yami glared. "Yuugi, what did I say about having a party while I was gone?"

"It's not a party!" Yuugi insisted. "It's just me and Anzu-"

"You mean you're alone with your girlfriend at two o'clock in the morning?" Yami exclaimed.

"Ano...hai?"

"Oh you are in so much trouble when your Mother and Grandpa come back."

"Look who's talking," Yuugi retorted. "I wouldn't have been alone in the first place if you hadn't gone off with your boyfriend for six hours!"

Everyone else sweatdropped as the two Game Masters continued to argue. Finally, Ryou decided to intervene.

"Um, guys, I know you want to continue this, but it's two in the morning-"

"Two thirty now," Malik interrupted. Ryou glared.

"Fine. It's _two thirty_ in the morning, and everyone's tired-"

"Speak for yourself," everyone else muttered all at the same time.

Ryou let out an annoyed sigh. "_Fine_. Then what do you all suggest?"

* * *

_"Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"_

"Ryou, remind me why we're watching this again." Malik asked quietly, so the others wouldn't hear him.

"Because, Malik, Yuugi and Anzu haven't seen it." Ryou replied, equally as softly.

"But _we_ have! So why are we watching this with them?"

"Because Bakura took the keys to my house, so we can't leave until he does, and he's watching the movie too."

Indeed, Bakura was staring at the screen intently, absentmindedly running his fingers through Yami's hair repeatedly. The Pharaoh in question was currently curled up next to the white-haired thief. Yuugi had his arm around Anzu's shoulders, and Malik was holding hands with Ryou.

"So why don't we go over to my place?"

"Malik, you know as well as I do that if Bakura caught us he'd skin us both alive. Actually, he'd skin you alive, and lock me in my room for all eternity."

"Oh yeah, good point."

"...Malik?"

"Hai?"

"Happy belated Valentines Day."

Malik smiled. "Happy belated Valentines Day, koi."

"...Aishiteru, Malik-kun."

"Aishiteru, koibito."

* * *

Me: Hmmm. Not my best work, but I suppose it's better than nothing. Well, Happy Valentines Day, everyone! 

Crystal: Please leave a review!

Me: Yes, please do. After all, it's National Love day, and I LOVE reviews! So click on the little button down there, and leave a nice happy review! (insert smiley face here)

Crystal & Me: Ja!


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